What's better than a collection of bad dad jokes? A collection of bad dad Thanksgiving jokes, that's what.
That's exactly what we've delivered in this dumb-but-oh-so-funny compilation of Thanksgiving jokes, one-liners and knock-knocks dedicated to all things Turkey Day.
For instance, what did the ocean say when it saw the Mayflower crossing? Nothing, it just waved.
Or how about this one: You ever wonder how Pilgrims kick a bad habit? They go cold turkey.
In the list of gags below, you'll find cringe-worthy jokes about turkey, stuffing, gravy, pumpkin pie and just about everything else related to everyone's favorite November holiday.
Break out one of these family-friendly jokes during Thanksgiving dinner, while cutting the pie, watching football or whenever you see fit.
Given that Thanksgiving Day is spent with relatives, it's the holiday voted most likely to need a solid sense of humor. Thankfully, we've come to the rescue with this arsenal of ridiculously good Turkey Day ditties to keep things on track.
So, get ready to giggle, because these Thanksgiving puns and jokes are simply the baste.
Best Thanksgiving jokes
- What is stuffing's favorite song? “Hit Me, Baby, One More Thyme”
- I love telling Thanksgiving puns. That's just how eye roll.
- Did you hear about the turkey that plays baseball? He covers first baste.
- What did the ocean say when it saw the Mayflower crossing? Nothing. It just waved.
- Did you hear about the turkey who lost his left leg? He's all right now.
- How do potatoes cross the sea? On gravy boats.
- How do you hire a turkey? Put it on a ladder.
- What do math teachers eat on Thanksgiving? Pumpkin pi.
- How do little pumpkins cross the road? With a crossing gourd.
- Why is corn so popular on Thanksgiving? Because it’s a-maize-ing.
- What kind of bagel travels on Thanksgiving? A plain bagel.
- What’s the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve it pizza and ice cream.
Thanksgiving jokes for kids
- Did you hear about pumpkin pie that apologized? It was a piece offering.
- What's blue and covered in feathers? A turkey holding its breath.
- What does the turkey do on the computer? Google, Google!
- What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky!
- What did the Thanksgiving turkey say to the Christmas ham? Nice to meat you.
- What do cows do on Thanksgiving? Eat dinner and watch a moo-vie.
- What do sweet potatoes wear to bed? Yammies.
- What do you need to make Thanksgiving s'mores? Pil-grahams.
- If fruit comes from fruit trees, where do turkeys come from? Poul-trees.
- What should you expect at the end of Thanksgiving? The letter “g.”
- What comes at the beginning of parades? The letter “p.”
- If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
- Did you hear about the scarecrow who won first prize? It was outstanding in its field.
- What did the Pilgrims use to make cookies on Thanksgiving? May flour.
- What smells the best on Thanksgiving? Your nose.
- Why don’t side dishes tell jokes? They’re too corny.
- Where did the Pilgrims stand after landing on Plymouth Rock? On their feet.
Thanksgiving jokes for adults
- What did one pumpkin pie say to the other? “You wanna piece of me?”
- What do you call a sad cranberry? A blueberry.
- What did the autumn leaf say to the tree? “I’m falling for you.”
- Did you hear about the Thanksgiving engagement ring? It’s 24 carrots.
- What happens when potatoes drink too much? They get mashed.
- What kind of music do Pilgrims listen to? Plymouth rock.
- Why did the cranberry blush? It saw the turkey dressing.
- Why should you never tell secrets in a cornfield? There are too many ears around.
- What did the shocked pumpkin say to the squash? “Oh my gourd!”
- What did the scarecrow wear to Thanksgiving? A har-vest.
- What’s the best way to fix a broken pumpkin? Use a pumpkin patch.
- What did one turkey say to the other? “Let’s get basted!”
- How do Pilgrims kick a bad habit? They stop cold turkey.
Thanksgiving knock-knock jokes
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Norma Lee I don't eat this much.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any more cranberries?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Annie. Annie who? Annie body want pumpkin pie?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Argue. Argue who? Argue going to pass the gravy or what?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Gwen. Gwen who? Gwen is Thanksgiving dinner? I’m hungry!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey have to sit at the kid’s table again?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen anybody else want pie?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? I mustache you to carve the turkey.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Aida. Aida who? Aida lot of food and now I’m stuffed.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good pumpkin pie recipe?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, I’m hungry!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are the best time of year.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to pass the gravy?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita nap, I’m stuffed!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Hatch. Hatch who? Sorry you’ve got a cold on Thanksgiving!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for dessert.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s Thanksgiving.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita bigger pair of pants, I ate too much on Thanksgiving.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? A herd. A herd who? A herd you were hosting Thanksgiving this year.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tanks. Tanks who? Tanksgiving is here!
Thanksgiving jokes about turkey
- What does a limping turkey say? “Wobble, wobble.”
- What do you call a turkey on the run? Fast food.
- Did you hear about the turkey fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
- What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert? Apple gobbler.
- What’s a Pilgrim’s favorite dance? The Turkey Trot.
- Why did the turkey become a percussionist? It already had the drumsticks.
- If leaves come from trees, where do turkeys come from? Poultries.
- What do turkeys say on Thanksgiving? “Moo.”
- Did you hear about the turkey who went to jail? It was arrested for fowl play.
- Why did the turkey refuse to eat dinner? It was stuffed.
- Why did the turkey get detention? It used fowl language.
- Did you hear about the turkey prom? It was a Butterball.
- What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself.
- How do turkeys cross the ocean? On a gravy boat.
- Did you hear the one about the rude turkey? It was jerk-y.
- How do turkeys search the internet? They use Gobble.
- Why did the turkey cross the road? It was following the chicken.
- Why was the turkey expelled from the game? It committed a fowl.
- Why didn’t the chef season the turkey? There wasn’t enough thyme.
- How did the turkey get home for Thanksgiving? It took the gravy train.
- What do turkeys use to serve wine? A gob-let.
- Did you hear about the turkey haunted house? It had a poultry-giest.
- How many cooks do you need to stuff a turkey? Just one, but sometimes they don’t fit.
